At first I called this post “The Psychology of Retirement or The Art of Trying Something New”. Having reconsidered the title, I quickly realized that it was misleading in its implied limitations. This is not just about retirement, or MEtirement as I refer to it. Retirement is just one of the many junctions in life that gives you the ability to make different choices.
How often do you think of actually trying to change your life? I don’t mean going on a diet just because it’s Monday or January 1. I don’t mean going to the gym just because you joined one. What I mean by a life change is a significant shift in the way you think and act because one or more events has given you an opportunity to jar you off the path you were on. An engagement, marriage, illness, major loss of any kind, health scare, graduation (your own or someone’s close to you), a breakup, employment termination or other job status change, relocation, divorce, retirement. The list goes on and on.
And one or more of those events can either jump start your happiness in some way or make you wallow in sadness. It turns out that MEtirement, that is retirement that is tailored to ME (or any other individual), made me realize that I LIKE CHANGE. In my past life, I never changed anything. I believe that most people love and feel more comfortable in day to day routine. That was me. I never questioned the “one foot in front of the other” mode I was in because I never had to do so.
Then, for better or for worse, I started getting older, Much older. In the blink of an eye, I had outgrown a nearly four decade career. I was tired. I didn’t hate what I was doing but it turns out that I just love not doing it anymore. And until you stop and change, you never, ever realize that there is a better life if you just have a personal, tidal shift.
And when the shift occurs, no matter how old you are, no matter what precipitated the shift, you may as well take advantage of it and use the opportunity to make changes in your daily routines. No more “one foot in front of the other”. Now you actually get to look around and ask yourself if what you were doing made you happy. If not, guess what? You don’t have to do it anymore. In fact, you can do everything or nothing.
Or, in my case, you can spend your days cooking, reading, drawing and expanding your knowledge of food photography. All of the things I thought about fleetingly because I never had the time to explore them in a way that would allow me to be really good at them.
Here is the point. You have just quit your job. Or you have just moved. Or you have moved on in a relationship. Or you have graduated from college or graduate school. Any of the above. Use that precipitating event as a justification (excuse is the wrong word) for changing your life for the better.
Talk to new people you meet. Take a cooking lesson. Write a column for a magazine. SHAKE IT UP. And be mindful about it. Don’t just undertake new activities. Revel in the absolute joy of doing so. Really, really, really think about what it means to take the step of doing something new. And if you don’t like what you chose, move on and find something else.
But never stand still. Because stagnation is not and should never be an option for anyone. And that is the lesson learned from MEtirement. I should have tried many, many new things before now. MEtirement opened my eyes to those new possibilities. And I am telling everyone who will listen that you don’t have to wait until you retire to start enjoying life by grabbing everything it has to offer NOW instead of putting your life on hold until you think you will have more time. Make time now. Life is very short and trust me, you don’t realize that until the decades have come and gone.
HAPPINESS NOW. FULFILLMENT NOW. EXPLORE THE POSSIBILITIES NOW.