Softer, Kinder, Gentler (A Reformation!) and Introducing “Tips and Tricks”

No question about it. Metirement definitely does change your life, your outlook, your schedule, your wardrobe etc etc. I am trying not to be repetitive (see “It’s about Time to Smell the Coffee”) but the biggest change is certainly going from 60 to zero on the activity meter. One day you are going full tilt at work–emails, conference calls, meetings, worries, worries, worries escalating to panic at times–and the next minute there is just silence and inactivity. How does that extraordinary change from noise and bedlam to peace and quiet translate to one’s outlook?

What I notice the most (aside from not rushing around so fast) is that because I don’t have so much on my plate, I feel like a softer, gentler, kinder person. How do I know that? Because………..I smile at people when I drive. I smile at people in the grocery store. I talk to the cashiers in the grocery store and ask them how their day is going. I thank the nice person who bags my groceries profusely instead of doing so like a robot.

I feel these things now. I feel the glow of happiness and relief. I am in less turmoil. I am not so impatient. A calm has washed over me like a fog that rolls in suddenly and unexpectedly. I didn’t notice it at first. But each time I thought about the fact that I was not going to work, I realized that I felt differently about life in general.

It was not that I did not like being around my colleagues at work. They were mostly terrific, appreciative and supportive. It wasn’t about the work itself although the practice of law is a a bit like having your head in a vice that tightens more as the day goes by. Critical deadlines. Enormous amounts of reading. The pressure to perform at an A+ level day in and day out.

I appreciate the sunny days. I notice that Fall is coming and the weather is getting crisper and chillier. I mean I REALLY REALLY NOTICE IT. Enough to stop and say to myself, WOW, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY IT IS.

Certainly it is not lost on me that almost everyone has to work for a living. I get that. But when you are swirling around in the vortex every day, trying to take care of a family and working long hours, it is extremely difficult to stop and look at all the people and things around you. Metirement gives you time. And if you don’t take advantage of it and really open your eyes and absorb with every sense you have what is around you, you will miss so much in this new life. Grab it while you can. Open your eyes. Then shut them and think for a moment about how lucky you are to have this day, this week, this month. How lucky you are that Halloween is coming and kids are all excited about pumpkins and candy. Oh, and you actually take notice of all of this.

The silliest little things, the smallest of details, now come into sharp focus and you cannot and should not look back and say “I wish I had noticed all of this sooner” because that is not what gives this new life meaning. What gives Metirement meaning is never looking back on what you didn’t have time for in the past but rather, absorbing with every fiber you are made of, the moments, people and places you will treasure going forward.

And now, for my new blog idea. TIPS AND TRICKS. These are just random things that I think are interesting, helpful and which I think about from time to time. Today’s TIP AND TRICK is about orchids. Gorgeous orchids that light up my desk with their beauty. And up until about a month ago, no matter how many I bought, I accidentally killed them all because it turned out those little flowers choke when you water them. You TOO can grow orchids!!

So then came a revelation. TWO ICE CUBES ONCE A WEEK!!! What kind of horticultural recommendation is that? I am from New York City. You can’t grow things there! But then I discovered that you can actually buy orchids and keep them ALIVE with one little trick. Really. So go out and buy the pretty pots in the grocery store or at the florist and keep them out of direct sun. And once a week (don’t forget) put two nice fat ice cubes on them and VOILA!!! Healthy, beautiful flowers. Just another thing to make you and your life softer, kinder and gentler.