It’s so funny how things turn out. When I first started this blog I was really worried about being able to think about things to write and actually getting it done. Happily, that has turned out not to be a problem. I love writing for fun. After 40 years of writing almost every day for work, this is just such a pleasure.
But when I first began the blog and was full of uncertainty about everything, including retirement, I started drafting lots of posts and storing them in an archive. I thought if I got ahead of the curve early on and later got writers’ block (or worse, was mired in uncertainty leading to inertia), I would at least have a stash of posts to fall back on.
Today I found one of the posts from August and it was just so funny. Not “ha ha” funny. Funny that it captured my fears of hating retirement and being uncertain about having NOTHING to do once I was no longer “working”. Well it turns out I am working. A lot. But the “work” I am doing is cooking, blogging, and, if you have been keeping up with this blog, you know I have been going to drawing, painting and photography classes. The “work” I never had time for. And just loving it. But back in August, in that stored post, I wrote (but it turned out I was completely wrong):
END OF AUGUST THOUGHTS
DOUBTS ARE CREEPING IN
Frankly, I am getting cold feet about the entire retirement thing. At first I was quite enthusiastic. Now I am just wondering what I am going to do with myself. I walked around the halls at work today and realized that I would never be there again. This was sad and disconcerting and the entire experience makes me uncertain about my future. Not so much my financial future (which is always on one’s mind) but more so as to my future as a liberated human being with no actual work responsibilities anymore.
At first I was optimistic that I could easily fill my time. Now, not so much. And I am worried about filling my days with stimulating conversations and the company of my friends. So it is not as easy a transition as I thought and I am not as confident as I was a few weeks ago. Now that it is here I have to face the music and accept this change. Total freedom does not feel as good as I thought it would. Maybe that will change as I find things to do that keep me interested and make me feel fulfilled. Blogging, here I come.
Did I mention that I have been home for about an hour in my retirement phase and it is definitely scary and confusing.
For me, work has always meant an office full of people. Now I seem to be totally confused as to what it means to work. I know there are many people who work from home and I was always envious of those who could work alone, in peace and quiet.
Not once in my nearly 40 years of going to work was I ever relaxed. In hindsight, I think I was hyperventilating from the moment I got in the car in the morning until I went to sleep. And even then, I could never let the day go. I would dictate letters in my head. I would make my to-do list, always fearing that I wouldn’t finish what needed to be done the next day. But that never happened. And yet I could never quite let go and just relax.
I realize that my time will be entirely my own. And I think (but am not quite sure) that I will be fine. I will keep busy and I won’t. I will do whatever I think sounds good that day.
So now I get it. The routine is now to not have a routine. That sounds pretty interesting. But this is only day one of MEtirement. Emphasis on the ME part. For once in my life. Stay tuned blog readers. It’s going to be a bit unpredictable at first. But maybe that is what has been missing in my life thus far. The elements of surprise and spontaneity. Here goes.
I am pacing the house trying to think of things to do. There are lots of tasks; I’m just not sure where to begin. Clean the house? Fix dinner? Go to the gym? To be frank, I have never had so much free time in my entire life and so far it is only an hour! Where am I going from here and how will I get there? I know I will figure it out but in this moment I am definitely adrift. The blog is my new refuge. It is my new outlet. My excuse to stay busy and so far I just love the challenge.
As I design the blog with my fantastic blog guru, Lauren Gray, let’s just say that my first big obstacle is that I’m not feeling very confident or secure in my ability to take photographs. I have a lot to learn. Although I have read a number of helpful publications on how to take photos, especially for food blogs (my favorite is from Pinch of Yum) I am definitely falling short. I am not afraid to fail, but, if the truth be told, I would prefer not to. So I think it is important for me to just put myself out there and write the recipes and blog entries and hope that the photographs will become more professional as I go along.
I know I can’t do everything at once–the blogging, the cooking and the photography— so I have to start somewhere. I hope you will be patient with my amateurish photographs and stick with me as I (hopefully) become better at this.
FAST FORWARD TO TODAY, FOUR MONTHS LATER
Thanks to my wonderful photography teacher, Ernest Worthing, Lindsay Ostrom’s ebook titled Tasty Food Photography (which I just devoured–no pun intended) and a fancy new 50 mm lens, I finally feel like my photos are improving. Just compare my orangey photos from the Pumpkin Ravioli post taken in bright artificial light with the photos on this post and you will see how far I have come thanks to all of the help I have had. I am not bragging but frankly, I cannot even believe that in four short months I have learned so much about all of these new things.
So, the point here is — this is another benefit of having time to learn new things you WANT to learn (instead of HAVE) to learn. You actually get better!
All my doubts reflected in my earlier and previously unpublished post above, were unfounded. They probably reflect the doubts of others who are close to retirement or newly retired. But rest easy. If you follow me and embark on new journeys to new destinations, you will be happier than you have ever been in your entire life.
And now, kale salad and rice pilaf to go with the Juicy Slow Cooker Lemon and Green Olive Chicken with Artichokes . Did you like the chicken? I hope so. And now turning to Thanksgiving! Stay tuned!
You may have noticed that thanks to Ernest, my photography teacher extraordinaire, the photo of the kale salad is NOT TOO BAD! I feel like there is some improvement!
Kale Salad with Butternut Squash
Two really healthy vegetables combined in a salad that can sit at room temperature for awhile.
Ingredients
- 1 large butternut squash cubed in 1" cubes
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 2 tablespoons maple syrup
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/4 teaspoon black pepper freshly ground
- 2 bunches Lacinato (Italian) kale washed and julienned
- 1 avocado cubed
For the salad dressing
- 2 cloves garlic
- 3 tablespoons maple syrup
- 3 tablespoons white balsamic vinegar I like Trader Joe's
- 1/3 cup olive oil
- 1 tablespoon dijon mustard I like Maille coarse ground
- 1/2 cup cilantro leaves or any other herb you like
Instructions
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Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
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Toss butternut squash in olive oil, salt and pepper and put them on a parchment- lined baking sheet. Bake 20 minutes in a single layer (keeping some distance between the cubes so they roast, not steam). You may need to use two baking sheets if the cubes are too close together.
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Remove the squash from the oven and toss in a large bowl with the maple syrup. Put the squash back into the oven, lowering the heat to 400 degrees. Bake the squash for another 10 minutes until it is caramelized. Remove and set aside while you prepare the kale.
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Put the julienned kale into a bowl with the avocado.
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Make the salad dressing by chopping the garlic in a small food processor until it is finely chopped. Add all of the rest of the ingredients and salt and pepper to taste and process until the dressing is emulsified.
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Toss the kale and avocado with half of the dressing. Add the warm butternut squash and the rest of the dressing. You can set this aside at room temperature for an hour or serve immediately. Toss once more before serving.
Rice Pilaf
This is a great, easy and quick side dish that never ceases to impress. Not just rice, not just noodles but the best of both!
Ingredients
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 1 cup traditional thin German noodles I used Bechtle "egg pasta"
- 2 shallots finely minced
- 2 cups basmati rice
- 3 cups chicken broth
- salt to taste the amount of salt will depend on what kind of chicken broth you are using
Instructions
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Over medium high heat in a large saucepan heat the olive oil. When the oil is very hot, brown the noodles, stirring constantly. They cook very quickly (less than 5 minutes) so you must watch them carefully.
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Remove the saucepan from the heat and quickly add the shallot. Stir until all is combined. Put the saucepan back on the stove.
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Immediately add the rice and the chicken broth. When the mixture comes to a rolling boil, turn the heat down to low. Cover the pot and let the rice cook for 15 minutes. No peeking.
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After 15 minutes, stir the mixture well, remove from the heat and let stand for 5-10 minutes. Fluff with a fork and serve.
Jane, Umm. Nice blog entry. Like, I really, like, like it. Seriously, though, you have earned this. My hats off to you!! Best, Megan Clark Johnson
Megan-thank you for your support of my new project!